Nothing in the World
by BrokenPoet12
Summary: Despite himself he tried to reach for her. It was her dream, and he couldn't make the physical connection between his hand and her body. Suddenly panic welled up in him as he saw the face of the man. It was his.


Disclaimers: No owner ship being claimed over these characters.

Inspired by the Cure's song, 'Pictures of You'. Particularly the lines "I've been living so long with my pictures of you, that I almost believe that the pictures are all I can feel." and "Remembering you, falling into my arms. Crying for the death of your heart." For sure, 100 SSHG. Angst and Fluff! Gets a little Christmassy at the end too! This is a really long one shot! Though..all things considered, I did receive a review asking for a prequel to "Third Night" so..if you must, consider this the beginning. _Italics_ represent a sort of past occuring, in-the-moment perspective, rather then a narrative perspective.

Summary: Reflections from the beginning to the end.

Nothing in the World

By Poet

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It happened gradually. Their work had brought them into constant contact for nearly two years. In such close quarters, an odd friendship was formed in place of their grudging admiration for one another. She was good at what she did. He had taught her all he knew. And as their partnership passed the first year intact, the whispers began. Never had any living soul seen the dour Potions Master so at ease. Quick to anger and with a brutally vindictive streak, anyone on the receiving end of his rage would more often then not, walk away a trembling mess of nerves. So, it was with great speculation, that people began discussing the nature of their peculiar relationship, especially when she managed to circumvent his anger nearly every time it surfaced.

As far from cowardice as any Griffyndor could be, she still managed to amaze people when she stepped headfirst into one of his particularly angry moods. Matching him tone for tone and barb for barb, their argument could be heard thundering up to the third floor, all the way from the dungeons. In the Great Hall, dinner was interrupted as her voice rose to a previously unimagined level. The curious glances of students and staff alike were quickly rebuffed by a stern look from the Headmaster, and a quick silencing charm kept the argument from prying ears.

Anyone near enough to the dungeons to make out anything being said, did not remain long enough. Only three people were privy to the cause of the argument, and two of them were very nearly at each other's throats. The third, Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, could not help but feel regret that his friends had to suffer so. In the long history of his acquaintance with them, he had come to know them as his children. She was headstrong, but compassionate and fiercely protective of what she loved. Sadly, loyalty was as much a Griffyndor curse as it was a trait, and in the end she could not escape it. He, on the other hand, had lived a life fully based on regret. When winter grew too bitter for even the most stubborn to venture out, Albus sat with Severus in his study. They talked of many things, and sometimes they sat in silence for hours. Over the ever increasing years of his acquaintance with his Potions Master, Albus had come to find that the man existing on the outside was very nearly identical to the one kept hidden in private. Severus never complained about the things that had been asked of him. He performed his duties admirably, always willing to do more then his share. Still, the emptiness of two wars, and a life of loneliness had left him scarred and bitter. Truthfully, he hadn't actually changed much, even within the last few years. But Albus could see the subtle hints of a new man emerging. With Hermione's assignment, partnering her with Severus, the Potions Master had been adamant that she find work elsewhere. He was not, as he had said on many occasions, 'In the habit of humoring overzealous former students with no social graces and almost no tolerable qualities to speak of.'

Hermione was adamant as well. Telling the man in person, exactly where he and his sense of pride could go. That argument lasted for two weeks before either would speak. It was over a cauldron that the impasse was broken, fitting as it were. With her solitary completion of a difficult potion, his comment in passing had completely ripped open the dam. Her gratitude startled him, more so because she actually seemed pleased that he had called her potion nearly passable. After that, neither raised the issue of whether or not they could work together.

They remained very nearly inseparable as the first few weeks turned into months. In the beginning, Severus challenged Hermione at every possible opportunity. In turn, she baffled him. She was one of the only people unaffected by his bitterness. Often he'd try to find a rise in her, baiting her with comments about her skills in potion brewing. When she ignored him, he'd try his best to find something personal and then tear it apart. The few times he'd managed to upset her, she'd retaliate in an equally, if not more vicious manner. Striking straight into the heart of his existence. Hermione never hesitated. In fact she could be as calculating as he.

Still, she calmed him as easily as he was angered. With the war over not long before their partnership began, tensions were still relatively high. With trips into Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade necessary to replenish brewing supplies, Severus never enjoyed venturing far from the castle. In their second month together, a trip inevitably came. To his surprise, she was more then happy to accompany him. Their trip into Diagon Alley was finished in short order, and with only one apothecary in Hogsmeade remaining, prospects of an evening with a bottle of bourbon had looked quite promising. He should have known better then to hope for an easy day. She had been talking to him, rambling about some obscure book she'd come across. With her, he knew her passion for literature was admirable, if not a little maddening. Rather then waste the effort to speak, he nodded occasionally, agreeing here and there. All in all, he didn't mind having someone to travel with. It was a drunk wizard carrying a rather large piece of stone masonry that ruined his pleasant mood.

_"Oi! Death Eater! I said Oi! What business has the likes of you got in this respectable place, eh?" The man advanced as menacingly as any stumbling drunk could, but with Hermione accompanying him, he suddenly felt an obligation to maintain her safety. _

_"Go back to the castle Ms. Granger. I'll handle this...man." Sneering at the approaching drunk, he spoke without looking at Hermione. She didn't respond, but she didn't leave his side either. Before he could comment on her irritating tendencies to flout impertinence wherever she went, the drunken wizard lunged and closed on them. Hefting the gray brick in his right hand, the glazed look on the drunks face twisted into a menacing snarl. In seconds, Severus had his wand out and muttered the disarming spell. The brick, and the unstable drunk, flew a few feet back and landed on the wet ground. Turning, and looking rather smug, Severus was about to reprimand Hermione when she gasped and looked over his shoulder. The impact of the brick, though now shattered into smaller chunks, rang through his head deafeningly. Staggering, Severus threw out a hand and managed to catch himself on a brick was. His head was fuzzy, and his vision grew threateningly dimmer. Hermione's scream registered dimly, and he felt her hands on his shoulders before suddenly they were ripped away. The sound of a scuffle behind him pulled his vision into focus and he managed to straighten. Turning, he found the drunk wizard advancing on Hermione, who was laying on the ground. Severus practically snarled as he summoned his wand and aimed a curse at the man's back. "CRUCIO!" It worked instantly, of course, and the man dropped to his knees screaming. Though his focus was wavering, Severus maintained the curse long enough to incapacitate the man, enjoying his revenge as much as possible. It was Hermione's hand on his arm that caused him to break the connection. He hadn't even noticed her rise and move next to him. He expected at least, her anger at his obvious torture of the drunk. Instead she surprised him by making him sit on a nearby bench so she could examine a laceration on his scalp. _

_"I was so worried. I thought he'd killed you when that brick hit your head." Wincing, he felt her fingers probing the wound gently. It hadn't turned out to be severe, but he could still feel the faint trace of a scar. Still dizzy, he couldn't manage anything remotely snide._

_"I'm afraid you're stuck with this job now that you've fought tooth and nail for it. It will take more then that to rid yourself of me."_

_"As if I had any intention of that." She smiled, he didn't return it but he appreciated it nonetheless. Casting a glance to the unconscious man, he wasn't angry anymore. Just tired, and sore. And though he wouldn't admit it, relieved._

Though being persecuted for the ways of his youth was fairly commonplace, he was rather surprised when Hermione told him later how angry she was. He'd long ago accepted it as a fact of the life he'd chosen. Even Albus had told him on several occasions that things would never be easy for a man like him. The fact that it angered Hermione so, both amused and confounded him. In the early days of their partnership, he'd found her to be all Griffyndor, apparently that quality traveled into all areas.

Conflicts arose often, though they rarely escalated past a few snide comments. After almost eight months together, they had come into the habit of late night discussions. She questioned him relentlessly about life, philosophy, brewing and everything in between. In return, he challenged her opinions. Forever seeking the basis for her every belief. From the sterile civility of his private labs, they moved into the warmer confines of his personal library. The delight written clearly on her face had nearly brought a smile to his lips. He'd squashed it though, flippantly commenting on her former know-it-all tendencies. She just ignored him. The armchair to the left of the fireplace had been designated as 'hers', and she was free to enjoy any of his books at her leisure. Provided of course, she treated them with respect. The allowances didn't come without a cost, and he tested her even more relentlessly. Though now, it was based on the knowledge she absorbed as fast as she could, rather then in his usual manner. As hard pressed as he'd be to openly acknowledge it, Severus found her constant company a welcome change. Their verbal sparring became known throughout the school by student and faculty alike. In his classes, they engaged in debates about ingredients and potency in front of his students. In the Great Hall, when the two actually appeared for dinner, conversation was confined to quiet whispers and discussions between themselves alone. More often though, they had the increasing habit of working straight through meals and taking them in his library.

The end of the school year coincided with the completion of her first year working with him. A happy occasion in any other case, Hermione had instead received urgent news from home. She asked him if she could take a short leave, though it was her decision, not his. She fretted about the work they had left, about all the things she had to do. In the end he had to threaten her with a hex if she didn't take the time off. Though she didn't reveal many details about the reason behind her departure, Severus found out from Albus that it was family related. The first few days of her absence, it astounded him how little work he was able to accomplish. After a week, he simply gave up. Retreating into his library did him little good. It seemed empty without her curled in the chair beside him. The idea the he might miss her had never occurred to him, and now it seemed idiotic. Bored of his own company, Severus took to roaming the hallways at night. Without students lurking around, he was as free as he liked. His favorite section of the school was a window with a spectacular view of the lake and the Forbidden Forest just beyond. At night, when the moon light played over the water, especially during summer, it was a view that could not be missed. Perhaps, upon later reflection, it was sitting in that precise spot at that precise moment that set in motion a chain of events that no one had expected.

Arriving at the window just before 2AM, Severus found the landscape beyond the glass silent and motionless. With a gentle tap of his wand, he vanished the glass and settled himself against the sill. With his head resting against the stone, he wondered about Hermione. No word had come, and he didn't know whether to expect any. If her family emergency was dire enough, surely she would leave her work behind. The thought that she would leave him behind, without word irritated him. She had asked his permission to go, and still she seemed hesitant to leave. He had insisted, and in the end she left. But in her absence he regretted his vehemence in pushing her away from her work. The thought that he was being selfish barely registered before he banished it. With no students to terrorize, few staff members remaining and unable to work competently, he was bored and lonely. Both of which he felt were unjust. Before Hermione, his solitude had suited him. Now with her gone, it seemed a gloomy prospect.

A motion on the grounds caught his attention suddenly. It was a fleeting shadow, and he had to strain to see. The vague form of a person entered the moonlight and the pit of his stomach nearly fell. It was her. Curious as to why she would be wandering the grounds in the early hours of the morning, he watched her. Her steps, which he found a little too jerky, were taking her to the lake shore. Cursing as she disappeared from the moonlight, he held his breath and waited for her to reappear. After a minute without seeing her, he became worried. Creatures roamed the grounds at night, especially in the summer heat. His mind made up, Severus turned and pushed away from the window. He had to find her.

He came upon her quietly, and in the dim shadows he could see her shaking. She had not heard his approach, or otherwise didn't care. Instead she stood at the edge of the lake and stared out over the surface. He stood for a long moment, unsure of what exactly to say. He didn't wish to intrude, but her grief was evident, even in the darkness. Opening his mouth to speak, she beat him.

_"Is it wrong to wish your heart dead?" Her voice sounded thick, choking. Her question puzzled him, and briefly he wondered if she knew he was actually there. Her next words answered him. "How do you do it Severus? How can you let them say such cruel things and not allow yourself to show the anger you must be feeling?" As she turned to face him, he saw faint traces of tears on her face and the sudden urge to brush them away rose inside his chest. Clenching his hands absently, he thought for a moment._

_"The things they say are true. How can you fight the truth?" He could see her visibly flinch as the meaning of his words rolled over her. He didn't expect her anger, but it was written clearly in her eyes. _

_"Don't you dare!" Her voice was deadly, allowing no room for argument. He pushed anyway. _

_"You know what I did, what I am. Or are you blind?" He hadn't imagined retaliation, but she slapped him just the same. Stunned, he couldn't even manage to react. Instead the horrified look on her face and the force of the blow made him step back. _

_"Oh Gods. I'm sorry Severus!" Before he could answer she moved to step past him. His hand shot out automatically, wrapping around her left forearm. She whimpered as he pulled her back, and suddenly he was afraid. She refused to meet his eyes, his hand still secured around her arm._

_"Hermione." Freeing her arm, he let his hand fall and his fingertips grazed her wrist. "Hermione, what's the matter?" She didn't respond, instead a shuddering breath visibly wracked her body. His throat clenching, he stepped towards her and lifted a hand to tilt her chin up gently. "Talk to me." _

_"I'm tired of feeling pain Severus. I'm tired of everyone judging me for feeling pain." The force of her words seemed to crack her before his eyes. Without hesitation he drew her to his chest, securing her there tightly. As her arms wrapped around his neck, he could feel her sobs. Deep and wracking, he was surprised that she was standing. Without realizing it, he had begun whispering softly. Words in english, latin, greek, french..anything he could call to mind to comfort her. Whether she understood or not he did not know. As he held her, the tension slowly fled her rigid body. _

_"Tell me Hermione. What happened?" He felt her shake her head against his shoulder, and he tightened his hold around her. "Please. Trust me." He felt her pull away slightly. Afraid she was trying to leave, he sought her gaze. The look in her eyes startled him. She looked at him, almost terrified. Before he could question her again, she closed her eyes and inhaled sharply._

_"I don't want to lose you Severus. Not after everything else." She didn't offer anything more, and he didn't press her. She drew herself against him and he held her tightly. Confused, his throat was tight with something he couldn't identify. She was worried for his safety. But he couldn't understand why. Without a word, he bent slightly and picked Hermione up. Holding her, he felt her head rest against his shoulder. Turning from the lake, he began his steps up to the castle bathed in moonlight. _

By the time he had arrived in her chambers, she was asleep from the apparent shock. Placing her gently upon her bed, he pulled the covers over her and sat down beside her. In the dim light of the room, she looked pale and thin. Dark circles were prominent under her eyes. Biting his bottom lip gently, he rested his palm against her forehead. Her skin was hot to the touch, but not feverishly so. Even in mid-july, the nights were hot. Under his touch, she stirred slightly. Apparently in the middle of a nightmare, she moaned softly. He spoke under his breath, and entered her mind.

_"No. Please." He could see her kneeling over a form on the ground. Walking slowly, he stood behind her. She was sobbing and clutching at the dark mass, which he could now see to be a man's body. The face was obscured by Hermione, so Severus kneeled next to her. When she lifted again, the cry that tore itself from her throat shattered something in his chest. Despite himself he tried to reach for her. It was her dream, and he couldn't make the physical connection between his hand and her body. Suddenly panic welled up in him as he saw the face of the man. It was him. _

_Just as suddenly the dream shifted and he was in another place. A home. Pictures on the walls told him it was a muggle dwelling. One in particular told him it was Hermione's home. Suddenly she entered, followed by the familiar, and loathsome Weasely boy. They both appeared somewhat younger, only by about three years or so. He was angry and Hermione was trying to leave him behind. _

_"Just what the hell is that supposed to mean Hermione!" _

_"What do you think Ronald! Someone has to be there to watch his back!"_

_"That bloody git? After all he's pulled nobody owes that son of a bitch anything." Hermione turned on Ron, looking quite formidable. _

_"That bloody git as you so vehemently call him whenever his back is turned, is the man you owe your life to on more then one occasion! "_

_"If Voldemort does away with his Death Eater, then you know what, so much the better for the rest of us."_

_The dream shifted again and Severus saw a familiar scene spreading before him. Hermione stood about twenty yards away, as still as could be. Before her, a twisting shape hovered a few feet in the air. Suddenly it took the form of the Potter boy, only this Potter was on the ground. His neck at an odd angle. Hermione was nearly hysterical. The shifter, a boggart, began transforming again. This time the red headed boy from before appeared. He, like Potter was dead as well. Again and again the shape changed, but the results were the same. Frowning, Severus watched as Hermione was ripped into emotionally. _

_"Ridikkulous!" He very clearly heard his own voice, and turning his head, he saw himself running towards Hermione. "What are you still doing here? The numbers are too great. Apparate away!" The dream Snape grabbed Hermione's hand and pulled her along with him. Severus jogged after the fleeing pair, keeping them in sight. They stopped a few hundred yards away and the dream Snape spoke quickly to Hermione. Just as he turned from her, she screamed and suddenly Severus was blinded by a green flash. _

He never told her of the things he'd seen. She never mentioned the nightmares to him. His casual inquiries into her health and sleeping habits were brushed aside. Hermione returned to work as if she had never left, and with an intensity that rivaled his own. If she could lose herself in her work, then he didn't think it could be such a bad thing. By mid-November they were working on developing a longer lasting potion to curb the affects of lychanthropy. Frustrated, tired and bogged down by school, he had been in a foul mood since the month had begun. With another failure, the catalyst for their largest fight to that point was in place. By the time Albus had silenced the Great Hall, the fight was in full swing. Both parties, unbeknownst to the other, had come separately to him. Hermione spoke of her dreams, making use of his pensieve for the worst of them. Severus spoke of his worry for Hermione's welfare, and about the reason for her nightmares. Albus offered few theories to either party, rather then leading them to the conclusion, he urged them to find it on their own. Now, in the midst of a powerful verbal shouting match, he wondered about his judgement regarding the situation.

_In the dungeons, Hermione sat on a lab table, completely disgusted. Severus stood across the room, breathing heavily, he glared at her from the shadows. Silence had finally fallen over the two._

_"What right did you have?" Her voice was a deadly whisper, a tone he'd not heard in a long time. Still breathing hard, he didn't answer for a long moment._

_"Every right in the world." It wasn't meant to be biting, though the edge was there. She had discovered his invasion of her dreams by accident. Entering the pensieve to sort through her memories, she found one from an odd view. It was Severus's. He had placed it in there before meeting with Dumbledore the last time. Never imagining that she would find it, he had left it there unguarded. Then tonight, she had stormed into his lab and confronted him. Covertly, he'd been using Legilimens to enter her mind and soothe her dreams. That had come out in the heat of the argument and she hadn't taken it well. Though her health had improved, she still dreamed almost nightly of death. His especially. It puzzled him that she would be so absorbed by it. _

_"That's right. You can go traipsing where you please without any permission can't you?"_

_"Don't be ridiculous. I only go where it concerns me."_

_"My dreams don't concern you. They're dreams. Just dreams!" Now Hermione sounded slightly desperate. Like she was trying to tell herself that well-rehearsed line. _

_"You concern me! You. I'm worried about you." His voice rising in irritation, he realized it was true. Seeing the toll her dreams were having did worry him. His use of Legilimens to calm her had helped some, she was markedly less pale and the bags around her eyes were all but gone. Still, the dreams persisted and he could find no cure. She was quiet when she spoke again. Almost withdrawn._

_"I'm tired of watching you die Severus."_

_"I'm not going anywhere. Not now, not ever Hermione."_

_"I want that to be true." With that she disappeared from the lab._

Rumors spread quickly. They were the subject of much controversy over the next few weeks. He paid it little attention, throwing himself obsessively into his work. She didn't join him again in the lab, but he hadn't expected her back. Students shushed each other in the halls each time he passed. Staff members, specifically Minerva and Albus offered him consolatory words. He brushed them aside. The solitude in her absence was as oppressive as ever and with the holidays fast approaching, he knew it would only get worse when the school emptied. Still, he didn't seek her out. Fleetingly he caught glimpses of her. She'd stayed on, at the urging of Albus, though she didn't work with Severus anymore. Every now and then he would turn a corner and see her rounding one just ahead. It took all of his control not to chase her.

As the Christmas Holidays approached, it was announced that there would be a ball. Mechanically, Severus expressed complete refusal to attend. Albus coerced, and he finally relented. With the evening nearly upon him, Severus picked halfheartedly at his meal. He'd long since stopped attending meals in the Great Hall, resigned to eat alone in his office. He couldn't even bring himself to eat by the fire. Her empty chair mocked him too harshly for his stomach to settle. Dressed in black, with a mood fit to kill with just one glance, he left the safety of his chambers and made his way up the Great Hall.

It was by pure accident that they came upon each other. Hiding in his corner, he was quickly forced out by as he saw Albus looking for him. Risking the path across an unoccupied section of the floor, he found himself suddenly immobile. Glancing around he saw no one with their wands raised, and he was left completely wondering about his situation. The sudden impact at his back forced the air from his lungs. Turning on the spot, he found himself suddenly immersed in her eyes.

"Hermione." He whispered her name and she jumped slightly, as if surprised he was there. Frowning, he regarded her.

"It..uh..it seems as if we're stuck Severus." Now as she lifted her gaze, he could see the trace of a smile in her features. She glanced up and he followed her gaze. Hanging a few feet above, was a small green plant.

"Bloody Albus." Groaning, he heard her laugh and felt her touch his chest gently.

"Listen..about..about my dreams." He lifted a hand to her cheek, cutting her off.

"If you don't want to.."

"No. You have a right to know." She smiled up at him, her eyes watering slightly. "I see you because...I've always been worried. You mean..you mean a lot to me. I care very much for you. And I..I've always been so afraid that I'd lose you. You did such dangerous..." She stopped, unable to continue. Severus could hear the waver in her voice. Bending his slightly, he offered her a smile.

"There's something you should know as well." She looked up expectantly at him. Suddenly he became aware of their location. Students and teachers alike were starting the give the pair curious glances. Unable to move, they were stuck and being put on the spot made him all the more nervous.

"Severus?" Now he felt her cool hand on his cheek, relieving the hot skin there.

"Hermione. I..." As his words left him, he felt himself bending automatically to reach her lips. It was if he were watching himself from outside his body. The shock of kissing her pulled him violently back to reality. For a moment she hesitated, and he was unsure of whether or not he had misjudged her meaning. The hesitation lasted seconds before her arms wound around his neck and her fingers tangled in his hair. Pulling her impossibly close, her tried to absorb as much of her as he could. She tasted like nothing he'd ever imagined and he couldn't see himself ever getting enough.

The sudden roar from everyone around the Great Hall barely urged them apart. It was more for lack of oxygen then surroundings, that he withdrew slightly. Resting his forehead against hers, he chuckled softly at the uproar around them. She returned his smile and he kissed her quickly. Taking a deep breath, he found himself drawn into her gaze.

"Hermione, I love you." It was as if the entire Great Hall had taken a sudden, and collective gasp. Noise instantly disappeared, everyone focused on them. But neither Severus or Hermione took notice. His heart hammered out an erratic beat and he dreaded the rejection he feared coming. She smiled again, her eyes shining.

"I love you too." He grinned and swept her into another deep kiss. Free of the magical bind, they were finally able to move. With the shouts and applause from everyone present, they made their way to the door. Passing Albus and Minerva, Severus mouthed his thanks. In the safety of his chambers, she stood before him and he kissed her again. Breathlessly, she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. Resting his forehead against hers once more, he whispered her name reverently.

"Hermione." She leaned up and kissed him softly as his fingertips traced her jawline. "Never. You'll never lose me. Not after all we've been through." He was vehement. He wanted her to know the truth. He'd never part from her. She wrapped her arms around him and he pulled her into a tight hug. Suddenly he was desperate to make her stay with him. Sighing, she stroked his neck gently.

"There was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart"

The End

"There was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart."

The Cure

Pictures of You


End file.
